The Long and Short of It

It is apparently a fashion no-no to wear shorts in October in Austria.

Despite what your fashionista or women's magazine (Woman included) might say, the average Austrian prefers to both wear pants and see them worn...no exceptions! Especially in October. When your are more than likely considered crazy if you drift from the "norm." 

not my legs

I'll put it this way - I ran out of long pants (need to do laundry) and decided, what the hell? Though shorts with leggings and/or tights are not normally my thing, I might as well wear the shorts I packed, and instead of wait until summer (which is a long way off at this point...) I could wear them before it snows.  

So, I leave the house this morning, thinking...well, OK, I am a little chilly...but I will be inside teaching most of the day. Or walking around or something. Plus, they totally overheat the school for this time of year...guess I'm used to freezing in the Green Bay Public Schools...and I'm wearing knee-high boots and a turtleneck sweater. The only "exposed" parts of my body are my thighs.

But, as soon as I get into the buliding, what does my supervising teacher say to me? "Frierst du dich - oder?" No, I am fine. Thank you.

After class, I went to the grocery store, and while I was packing my things into my purse (forgot my bag at home - and, by the way, you have to pay for your grocery bags in Austria. Best to bring them with), the guy in line behind me asks, in German:

 "Aren't you cold?" 

"I'm fine," I say.

From which he persists, "Do you go around all winter in shorts?"

What would give him that idea? "No, it just takes me time to get used to long pants," I return. Just kidding.

He then gets the idea that we are having a conversation. "Where are you from?"

"United States."

"California?!" he says hopefully. "Arnold Schwarzenegger?"

Uh, no. I turn around to leave, and almost forget my beer...

Mr. Helpful comes up behind me and says, "So you like Austrian beer?"

"Yes," I say. Then I add a danke, taking it from him. 

"What are you doing in Amstetten?" 

"I'm the foreign language assistant at the HLW."

He bursts out laughing.

Huh.

"I went there!" he says. "Ten years ago. We had a British assistant named Tracy."

Lovely?

He switches to English. "Everything I know, I learned from her!"

He beams proudly.

"Very good. Well, nice to meet you..." 

And I duck down a side street toward my apartment.

Not what I expected from wearing shorts. I was actually hoping to run into that little twit in the 4th form who said Americans had no fashion sense last week. So she would see how fashionable I am and shut her trap...but I didn't even see her today! Maybe that is for the best, though...she could very well also think I'm nuts.

Voralberg is not Wisconsin!

Another crazy story: when the guy asked me where I was from, I couldn't help but think of the girl I was talking to yesterday (in German - after class, of course) who said I speak German like her cousin from Voralberg. Not exactly a compliment, considering the Voralberg dialect is basically incomprehensible...but at least I don't sound American, right??


My life's work is complete when, while in a foreign country, I either a) blend in well enough to trick people into thinking I'm a native or b) confuse locals by being ambiguously foreign (i.e. not obviously American) because it's always fun to mess with people's perceptions...isn't it?