For anyone reading this blog, you probably know already that at times I am opinionated, critical, a heartless cynic and an all around twerp when I have a bone to pick with society at large. And that by making a list of adjectives to describe my self-righteousness only means I have made said list.
Well, my point is movies. I'm a-talkin' CINEMA here, people. Having been sequestered from the cinema due to the lack of proximity of a theater to my residence in Amstetten, I've been going through movie withdrawal symptoms for a couple of months.So, when I got the chance to watch some: in-flight movies, Netflix and renting videos from the local Family Video, I regarded it as the highlight of my entertainment life (NB - Family Video? Is that just a Wisconsin thing? Or a Green Bay thing? Mom has brought me to the realization that many things I used to think of as normal and a part of everyone's childhood are really things unique to where I spent my childhood).
In Flight
Let me start with the in flight movies proffered by United on the way from Frankfurt to Germany. I can't remember the exact selection of films offered. I only remember what I watched: The Switch - you know, that one with Jennifer Aniston where she and the guy from Arrested Development where Jennifer decides she wants a baby, but instead of adopting, she decides to hire a sperm donor and have her "own." Regardless of typical social mores and confidentiality, sanitary medical practices, etc., the sperm is switched - and that guy, a.k.a. Jason Bateman, actually becomes the father of the child...incidentally named Sebastian - what I wanted to name my sister while my mother was pregnant with her (Sam ended up being a girl, obviously, and my parents voted me down anyway). I'm not going you know, rate this movie with stars or anything. Suffice it to say, I killed a good two hours on the plane.
Also on the list of in-flight films was The Romantics, something I had actually wanted to see. The previews made it look pretty good - and, well, a lot like the sort of thing I or one of my friends might write for a writing workshop (those of you in master's programs, you know what I mean!)...it was first a novel. But the actual production is not stellar. If you are interested in rehashing Dawson's Creek mixed with Rachel Getting Married with as many immature and irritating portrayals of young people as the former and more boring-ass long camera shots than the latter, you're in for a treat. I can't figure out what was more annoying: Katie Holmes' anti-acting or the idea that a complete asshole who uses you for sex can ultimately be the love of your life, if he would just dump his current girlfriend - incidentally your former college roommate whom you never really liked anyway.
Home
At home, I watched lots of movies: a nice little Mel Brooks marathon, including Spaceballs and The Producers (the 1968 original). Always entertaining, and lots of fun.
I finally got to see Eat Pray Love, which was grossly disappointing. Don't know what I was expecting, but I didn't get it. Maybe the book is better, but Julia Roberts is a middle aged brat, with an attempt at pithy, visceral vignettes which were actually predictable and annoying shots of her wandering around Italy, India and Bali. No real emotion, no real interesting nuances of a woman's life. I'm not sure if Elizabeth Gilbert herself is an immature and artificial poser, or if Julia Roberts' portrayal of her in the film made her seem indulgent and narcissistic. Javier Bardem was, hands down, the best part - and the only real actor - of the whole film.
Another Family Video rental was Easy A: again, disappointing. What is the film industry coming to? Although Emma Stone's rendition of a dorky-yet-precocious teenage girl is charming, it is oftentimes too charming - bordering on goddamn annoying. The writer, director and anyone else involved in the content of the film have obviously not been anywhere near teenagers or a high school recently, if ever. No 17-year-old I've ever known has been so self-aware, nor so candid about sexuality. It also seems not to have occurred to them that teenagers have sex all time, and one Olive Penderghast type's supposed exploits would never make headlines in a huge California school such as the one the character attends. The plot is ridiculous, the puns and pop culture references are nauseatingly "with it" and the ending it trite. I have a feeling said "writers" of this flop have started, but not finished, The Scarlet Letter, having missed the whole point of the novel: sin and repentance, etc. while still retaining the original novel's sentiments of overblown bombast. Go figure.
Mom, Sam and I went to see Black Swan in the theater. Natalie Portman was great, as she often is. The plot was pure thriller: contrived and creepy but with a ballet twist. Maybe a cross-genre chick flick? Vincent Cassel was utterly French and a total creeper (though, by the end, he and Natalie seemed well-matched...) and I couldn't decide who was freakier, him or Barbara Hershey as the psycho overprotective mom. Predictable? Yes - once we figure out Natalie's character is going insane, there's only so far insanity can go. Self destruction often manifests in self mutilation, and, in extreme cases, suicide. Duh. And it wouldn't be the same if she went to a psychoanalyst... For me, the film was trying too hard to be French (or "new wave"?) a la Polanski's Repulsion (1965) with a young, attractive and psychotic Catherine Deneuve. If you see one, you should really see the other.
Return
On the return flight, I finally got to see Goethe! as I had been planning to (but never did) in the theater. From the same vein as Marie Antoinette or The Young Victoria, this is a costume drama all the way - one that probably only a Germanic audience (and Germanophiles) will find intriguing. As I have mentioned before, I love Goethe and Romanticism and the 18th century in general. Goethe! is basically the telling of Goethe's The Sorrows of Young Werther, implying how much Goethe did actually steal from real life - well, hey, he was 24 when he wrote it, what do you want? - but perhaps relied less on actual biographical evidence and more on what the director wanted to have happen with Charlotte Buff and Goethe.
I then watched Going the Distance which, like most romantic comedies, was predictable but cute. And refreshing to have someone who isn't much of a stud play a leading role - sorry, Justin Long. Plus, I really like Drew Barrymore. She seems a lot more genuine that certain other starlets out there...
The third film I watched was Mammuth a new French film with Gerard Depardieu. OMG! Very French, and laugh-out-loud funny! Though probably only to a sleep deprived American who knows French, sitting in the cabin of a 747. It's about a man who works in a slaughterhouse and is getting ready to retire. His wife realizes he won't get his full pension if he doesn't get all of his paperwork into the French Social Security office. So, he takes a road trip on his rusty old motorcycle from the 70s! Perfect.
Another Family Video rental was Easy A: again, disappointing. What is the film industry coming to? Although Emma Stone's rendition of a dorky-yet-precocious teenage girl is charming, it is oftentimes too charming - bordering on goddamn annoying. The writer, director and anyone else involved in the content of the film have obviously not been anywhere near teenagers or a high school recently, if ever. No 17-year-old I've ever known has been so self-aware, nor so candid about sexuality. It also seems not to have occurred to them that teenagers have sex all time, and one Olive Penderghast type's supposed exploits would never make headlines in a huge California school such as the one the character attends. The plot is ridiculous, the puns and pop culture references are nauseatingly "with it" and the ending it trite. I have a feeling said "writers" of this flop have started, but not finished, The Scarlet Letter, having missed the whole point of the novel: sin and repentance, etc. while still retaining the original novel's sentiments of overblown bombast. Go figure.
Return
On the return flight, I finally got to see Goethe! as I had been planning to (but never did) in the theater. From the same vein as Marie Antoinette or The Young Victoria, this is a costume drama all the way - one that probably only a Germanic audience (and Germanophiles) will find intriguing. As I have mentioned before, I love Goethe and Romanticism and the 18th century in general. Goethe! is basically the telling of Goethe's The Sorrows of Young Werther, implying how much Goethe did actually steal from real life - well, hey, he was 24 when he wrote it, what do you want? - but perhaps relied less on actual biographical evidence and more on what the director wanted to have happen with Charlotte Buff and Goethe.
I then watched Going the Distance which, like most romantic comedies, was predictable but cute. And refreshing to have someone who isn't much of a stud play a leading role - sorry, Justin Long. Plus, I really like Drew Barrymore. She seems a lot more genuine that certain other starlets out there...
The third film I watched was Mammuth a new French film with Gerard Depardieu. OMG! Very French, and laugh-out-loud funny! Though probably only to a sleep deprived American who knows French, sitting in the cabin of a 747. It's about a man who works in a slaughterhouse and is getting ready to retire. His wife realizes he won't get his full pension if he doesn't get all of his paperwork into the French Social Security office. So, he takes a road trip on his rusty old motorcycle from the 70s! Perfect.
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