On the Job

It occurs to me I haven't said much about teaching recently, and I'm wondering now why that is.

To get to the root of it, I'd like to ask myself a few questions: am I trying to hide something, or feel that I cannot be honest? Do I have "better" things to write about? Do I feel my audience has little interest? Have I categorized teaching into one of those things I don't think about anymore (…going on autopilot…) and thus don't have anything enlightening to say?

Well, I suppose I should take a step back and simply state what's been happening in the world of school. In early February, we had the end of the first semster, a week off (Austrians will take any excuse for time off : woohoo!), and then came back to a new semester, and a slightly new teaching schedule. I haven't been the most satisfied, and that's why I feel I need to ask myself these questions.

Because the real question is whether I want to make a profession out of teaching? I'm still on the fence. Now more than ever, since I've had two years in the "business." It seems a little stifling...by that I mean the material isn't very challenging, the expectations are not as high as they could be - for me or my students. However, I have little autonomy in the classroom, especially this year. I guess I should keep in mind that, if/when I become a "real" teacher, rather than just an assistant, i.e. live-action dictionary, I will be able to set my own rules, curriculum, etc., at least more so than currently.

I've been thinking very seriously about becoming TEFL certified, to teach English abroad. I met a few English teachers abroad this summer, and they all had positive things to say about their experiences. I'll be honest, I'm a little afraid of being let loose in a classroom full of kids whose native language is not English, especially if I don't know their native language, either. If I did take an online course to become TEFL certified, I could even stay in Austria. I haven't yet made up my mind whether I'd like that or not.

The biggest uproar in the Austrian school system is the new Zentralmatura, which is the new, centralized government school-leaving exam for Austrian secondary students. All students who are now in the sixth year at Gymnasium (roughly American Sophomores) will have to take the centralized state test. There’s been lots of “debate” (whining) about it at school, from my colleagues.

The difference between the Zentralmatura and the traditional Matura (similar to the German Abitur) from which they’re transitioning is basically the difference between the American ACT and a high school final exam a teacher creates at the end of the year. Although the Matura is farther reaching than either an ACT or a final exam, basically teachers have had the right (and autonomy) to put whatever they wanted on their exams for their students, i.e. testing them on exactly what they’ve been taught. 


The Matura typically includes a German comprehension portion, a Math and Science portion, and a foreign language portion (either written or oral) in English – the most popular – or another living language, typically French, Spanish, Italian or Russian. The teachers are complaining that the new Zentralmatura is killing their classes. They have to teach twice as much, with half the preparation time. That is, they have to teach what they've always been teaching in school, plus the addenda of multiple choice/standardization/teaching to the test. I get it. I would complain, too!

All of the explanations I’ve gotten for the transition to a centralized state test have not sufficed in my opinion. It seems like a big fat mistake and a hollow attempt to copycat the American secondary system, which is completely broken! Come on, people. If you’re going to change your system, at least get a good, viable role model, not a crappy, broken-down one. I thought everyone knew the ACT/SAT stuff was just a load of graft set up by the Princeton Review – forcing unsuspecting highschoolers to fork over money by telling them they’ll never get into college if they don’t take one of these tests. Maybe this is overblown, and has nothing to do with the United States. But then again, Austria has imported Jersey Shore - (why do they always choose the bad aspects of American culture?)

The Zentralmatura is in some ways worse as a standardized test, because no one is ever forced to take the ACT. Some colleges and universities don’t require them in an application anymore (like my alma mater, in fact); but, to graduate from Gymnasium at all, let alone go to uni, you need to pass the Matura. How’s that for Schwindel, hmm? Not to mention, standardized testing is a completely foreign cultural concept anyway, which is the root of most of the complaints.

Recently, Die Presse has been running articles on the various opinions related to the Zentralmatura. Though they are in German, here is a link.

Superstitious?

Superstition - it's not just a Stevie Wonder song. Austrians seem especially keen on exploring them, actually, which I find fascinating in a quasi-pagan sort of way. Several examples have recently cropped up in my life. I'll share a few of them with you.

Two of my teachers asked me to do a lesson on superstitions around the world, for example, the number 13 vs. the number 7, breaking a mirror, black cats, opening an umbrella in the house, spilling salt...the list goes on. In my search for cohesion in the topic, I stumbled upon this website, which has a nice little A-Z list of superstitions.

The list my students came up with was pretty basic, and unfortunately the accompanying book lesson (from the less than stellar More!) had a completely awful version of The Monkey's Paw which is an excellent story if you read the original short story by W.W. Jacobs. But, the kids also came up a few unexpected superstitions: wearing red in China symbolizes good luck, and white bad luck; in Serbia, hiccups are caused by people talking about you.

My landlady has a book called "Guided by the Moon" (in English, written by an Austrian) which outlines all of the things you're supposed to do or not do depending on the cycle of the moon.

For example, clipping your nails after sunset on a Friday will keep you from having hang nails or ingrown toenails. Cutting your hair when the moon is waxing will make it full and beautiful - if the moon is waning, you will go bald. Felling a tree on New Year's Eve Day in the morning will make the wood easier to work with - and more durable - if you are planning on making furniture or tools out of it.

Christmas trees need to be felled during the waxing moon in December. If they are, they will keep their needles for months. Always water house plants on a water day (when the moon is going through on of the water signs - Pisces or Cancer, but not Scorpio). Do gardening: planting, weeding, harvesting; on an earth day (when the moon is going through one of the earth signs - Virgo, Taurus or Capricorn).

Sure, these superstitions can be a little silly, and I doubt whether most people actually still believe in them. But remember, this is Freud's country, and a lot of weight is still given to dream interpretation! I suppose anything is possible.

Ein kleines Update...

For those keeping up, my landlady recently moved back in from being abroad in the USA with her daughter to help take care of her new grandbaby. Over a weekend, my living situation dramatically changed. I'm sure it will all be great, but at the moment, I'm still in the struggling, "gotta get used to this" mode. The biggest struggle is sharing not only with Jo, but with her family - especially the other grandbabies that live in Vienna!


I like kids, don't get me wrong. But I haven't had to deal (up close and personal like) with babies since my 10th grade babysitting gigs stopped. Seriously. Listening to little screams the minute I get through the door from work is almost making me reconsider having my own kids. At least in the near future...although, they are pretty adorable when they're not screaming their heads off. Like most people.


School is school. My schedule is a lot different this year than last year. I'm teaching until 6pm twice a week (for Wahlpflichtfächer, or mandatory elective courses) which is a bit tiring, especially since last year I only taught in the mornings, having every afternoon free. It's a little depressing leaving and coming home in the dark - at this time of year, at least. 


Also, for those interested, I will officially not be coming home for Christmas. Unfortunately, I didn't book a flight early enough to get a good deal, and last-minute flights are ungodly expensive. This means I will be in Vienna for Christmas, or, failing that, traveling to somewhere close by. Hopefully to places I haven't been yet. I just got back from a weekend in Prague, and although that was really a lot of fun, despite chilly December weather and a couple of snafus, I'd been to Prague twice before. The upside is I got to play tour guide!


I'd like to get to some of the out-of-the-way places before I leave Austria. I've been thinking of doing places I haven't been yet, at least for day-excursions, like Eisenstadt, Innsbruck (I've only ever been in the train station), Southern Tirol (Bozen, for example) and other places I've heard good things about. Well, I guess Eisenstadt really only has a palace...but that's good enough for me. I can get my kick living vicariously through the former empirical nobility, can't I? 

American Passages

Living in Austria has taught me a lot about being an American. It's curious in a way that an Austrian film recently released and chosen by my students to see would not only center around the United States and the "American Way of Life" but in doing so give me pause, leaving me to question how I fit in to this picture.

Last night, I went to see American Passages, the new film by Austrian documentary film director Ruth Beckermann at the Votivkino in the first district with the 7th form (juniors) Wahlpflichtfach (English elective class). All the girls (there are only girls in this class) were late, buying popcorn at the concession stand, trudging into the theater after the lights had dimmed and the previews started, sloughing off their winter gear in the row behind me, reserved just for them.

The film we were set to watch was about the American dream, I suppose. Or the inverse-American dream. As a whole, the film had little storyline, not much to connect images to dialog, aside from the fact that the interviews collected from around the United States served as the common denominator. The interviewees were of diverse cultural backgrounds, many of them underprivileged or part of the minority somehow. Pans of Harlem residents celebrating Barack Obama's 2008 presidential win, a bride-to-be in Mississippi telling the audience how she and her husband met, a gay couple living in Arizona explaining how they came to adopt a set of twins and a former pimp and compulsive gambler at the roulette table of a Las Vegas casino all take part in the aural and visual melange Beckermann gives us. The names are not given - just the stories and the circumstances in which they came about. The footage is coherently edited and flows from picturesque landscapes to portraits of denizens, but the stories seem dislocated, abstract, aborted, unfulfilled. Scattered. It is never fully explained who these people are - why they are important. They are all Americans. I suppose in its way, that is enough.

On Beckermann's part, I felt a very skewed version of reality confronting me from the silver screen. A one-sided commentary on the United States from an Austrian: a foreigner who has had little other, actual cultural contact with the USA. I couldn't help but feel her lack of objectivity on the subject not only prejudicial but lacking in professionalism. Displaying each side of the American story coherently and without injecting her own preconceived notions of what she expected to find seemed absent to me. The "documentation" was not unbiased.

My discomfort with the portrayal of Americans was perhaps underscored by the audience. As a scene of a Memorial Day celebration in Mississippi took up the screen, a woman sang the Star Spangled Banner and, upon saying a few words about the armed services - men and women who make the ultimate sacrifice for their country - she began to cry at the podium. Snickering began in the theater, and in some cases, I'm sure I heard full-blown laughter.

Perhaps she has lost a loved one in Iraq or Afghanistan. Perhaps she loves her country so much, her empathy overwhelmed her. Perhaps it was just too stinking hot on that May day in Mississippi that she couldn't keep her emotions in check. Because it was not explained, we will never know. Despite why she began to cry, it is to me unfathomable that her reaction should be mocked and ridiculed. This woman, in giving respect to her country and the US Armed Forces deserves respect in return.

This may sound hypocritical, and on some level it probably is. Before I spent any considerable amount of time abroad, I was an America-hater, too. It was a pretentious and rather ugly form of self-hate that I hope I've grown out of. Yes, I hate the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. I hate that all of (what I perceive to be) the bad aspects of American culture (junk food, SUVs and unchecked consumerism being high on this list) have been exported to Europe, and lauded by young Europeans. I hate that non-Americans assume the United States does not have or has not produced anything worthy of the title "culture" but I now realize that, as an American, I am not defined by what my country does or is, unless this is what I allow. I, one person, am not responsible for 300 million. Perhaps the president is, but I am not. I can hate things about America, but I cannot hate being an American. What else do I have?

I've heard from many Austrians that they don't understand American patriotism. They don't have any idea why a person would sport the Stars and Stripes on a t-shirt or bumper sticker, why they would send care packages to the overseas troops. Or why the Pledge of Allegiance must be recited every day in school. I can't exactly explain it myself, but I do think that there's nothing wrong with loving one's country, and being proud to be where you're from.

Xenophobia and dogmatic patriotism are not all right, but most Americans, including the woman who was filmed, are not crazy patriots or bigots because they commemorate the soldiers who served in any war for their country. And since the equivalent of First Amendment rights came so much later to Austria, it's no wonder to me that there's a cultural gap - that freedom is inherent to the human condition, and that it can - by definition - safely mean two different things to two different people.

Hallo-Wien

Yes, the pun is stupid. But apropos, as today is Halloween! Boo.

pumpkins

Last year at this time, I was in Prague. We get a number of days off at the end of October in Austria, because not only is the Austrian national holiday on October 26, but because Austria is also a historically Catholic nation, All Saint's Day and All Soul's Day are also holidays - and because this year they land on a Tuesday and a Wednesday, we get Halloween off as well! 

Recently, I was asked to do a PowerPoint presentation on Halloween for the 2nd Form (roughly American 6th grade) and I found many interesting facts about Halloween in America as well as the historical significance of the holiday, among which include that Halloween is the #2 commercial holiday in the United States, the higher prevalence of "trunk-or-treating" (where overprotective parents can control where their kids get Halloween candy) and that no one really knows where Halloween comes from, but the top guesses historians have are 1) the Celtic festival of Samhain and 2) the Roman festival of Parentalia. My favorite part of Halloween used to be the candy. But, well, now being more mature and adult, I'd have to say I prefer the historical aspects. But my absolute favorite part is the idea that the earthly realm and the spirit world are closest between October 31 and November 1. And it's easier to tell the future with things like tarot cards and other types of fortune telling.

And here is my favorite animated piece set to music, which always reminds me of Halloween, and a little bit of Austria, too:

Night on Bald Mountain, Fantasia (1940)


Being in Vienna this year, I wonder what will be different. Of course, I'm not expecting too many trick-or-treaters, nor will I be going to the Geisterschloss  but I will be attending a costume party, and that will be in the spirit of things, so to speak.

Summer Camp Austria: the Beginning

Starting on the 26th of July, I have been hired to teach German at an international sleep away summer camp in Zell am See. After a week of orientation with all of the staff members, the campers arrived yesterday. It's been pretty hectic getting all of the kids situated and dealing with parents, regulations, etc. I'm a bit afraid the kids are going to be spoiled brats from what I've heard about the socioeconomic standing of some of them...

The kids come from all over, but mostly Russia, the Middle East, Switzerland and other parts of Europe. I was on airport duty picking up the kids from Munich, which was incredibly stressful. I never realized how hard it can be to try to wrangle 60+ kids around an airport!!

All of my co-workers seem pretty cool, though. I met two on the train ride from Salzburg to Zell am See and the rest when I got to the camp. They've traveled all over the place, and many of them are from New Zeeland, though there are also a number of Americans, a couple of Canadians, an Australian, and various Europeans. Our orientation was a bit less hands-on than I had imagined, but I guess it did the trick.

I will stop here, being absolutely pooped. Hopefully more news will pop up soon...and pictures, too!

Graduation

On June 21, I was invited to attend the graduation ceremony at the HLW.


This was, in many ways, quite different from an American high school graduation ceremony. I got to hear the Austrian national anthem for the very first time, Land der Berge. The melody was composed by Mozart. There was a full Catholic mass (with communion and everything, officiated by a priest) and a buffet with champagne, hors d'oeuvres and everything. No gowns. No caps. Lots of alcohol consumed, by teachers, parents and students! The students invited me to the dance club in town and, for the first time since before Christmas, I drank with my students...something that would most likely have gotten me fired if I worked in the USA.


However, Austria (and Europe in general) is different from North America and American norms. There is perhaps not more drinking (Wisconsin is - or used to be - the beer brewing capital of the country) but more open consumption of alcohol. I remember at my high school graduation, my grandmother came from Minnesota. The night I graduated, I went rollerskating with all of my closest friends from high school. Aside from a handful of seven-year-olds grabbing my butt, it was a blast.


Best of luck to the class of 2011~ 
Viel Erfolg und alles Gute für die Zukunft!!!

Plötzlich Shakespeare

Cute and enjoyable, "Suddenly Shakespeare" is another novel by David Safier - the author of Mieses Karma.

This time, however, the female protagonist Rosa finds herself, thanks to a past-life regression session with a carnival stunt man, all of a sudden living at the end of the 16th century: in the body of William Shakespeare! The gist is that Rosa once lived as Shakespeare, the Bard, the greatest English language writer the world has ever seen (according to popular opinion). Her quest is to find the meaning of true love. And she does find it - very touching. Very sentimental (but also quite funny). I found the story trite at times, but also, considering the audience, fun and and enjoyable read. Very similar to Mieses Karma, but with the past life regression trick.

However, I must comment on one big gaping error in the plot: Shakespeare's greatest love ("soul mate") was supposed to be his wife, Anne Hathaway, who has died in the novel. In reality, Anne Hathaway survived her husband - although she was eight years his senior - and was bequeathed his "second best bed" in his will. Takt that as you wish. Other historical details (I am particularly picky when it comes to historical, or even "historical" novels) are well documented enough - for example, the Earl of Essex's close relationship with Queen Elizabeth I, Shakespeare's best friend Kempe...

According to certain para-psychologists (also known as occultists) would argue against certain aspects of reincarnation present in Safier's novels. I, however, do not have the knowledge base nor the gumption to truly attest one way or another for or against reincarnation - aside from my own opinions, which are more or less
as informed as I am in general. Thus, I will skip that debate (I know what's good for me).

Again, this was a novel written in German (like Mieses Karma) and recommended to my by a student, who said that these novels convinced her of the truth of reincarnation. And perhaps other things helped along the way? Such as personal experiences, etc.? I can only guess.

A funny side note: it seems that Canadians are particularly fascinated with reincarnation, and particularly believing that they are reincarnations of certain famous people (don't as me why) including the woman who believes she was once Alexander the Great, and the woman who more recently declared she was the reincarnation of Marilyn Monroe. Edgar Cayce also had something to say on the subject. In any case, in any incarnation, we are us - and we make of our lives what we deem necessary, and good. We do not - and cannot - live in the past. Fame, after all, is still a four letter word.

Some Like it Hot

...however, I do not. A sudden heatwave has come over Austria, and it sucks.

Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon as women

Today's high is 29 C -- that's 88 F. Yucky. Beach weather is what I'd call it, though I don't know of any beaches in the area around Amstetten. Although nice for sunbathing, it's hard when the weather is this hot to move around much without breaking into a sweat. And I don't sunbathe. My complexion  - a freckling strawberry blonde - is too pale for any good to come of that.

Today is also my last day of school...this, above all else, is reason to celebrate! As a kid, I loved the last day of school (don't all kids?) and would relish walking home with an empty backpack (no school work!) or nearly empty - a few broken crayons at the bottom having been overlooked in cleaning it out from the day before. I always cleaned out my desk (ergo, backpack) the day before the last day of school so I could relish the empty backpack feeling the real, very last day. Being somewhat of a pack rat, the feeling of nothing weighing me down is to this day is not a feeling I can experience too often if I have a bag to carry. And even if I don't.

Being free from school as a teacher is  really exhilarating, perhaps even more so than as a student. We are free from tests and papers and books and planning and the nervous energy that comes from standing in front of an audience for hours on end, hoping you do well enough to make your point known, whether that be the dialog of a play, the joke of a stand-up comic, the evening news, or the lesson at hand. But only for a few days. Contrary to popular belief, teacher work a hell of a lot during the summer...when else do you think we get all of our lesson planning done? In our sleep?

In three weeks, I will be headed out to Zell am See in western Austria to do more of the same: teach English. In the past year, I've realized how much I honestly enjoy it, and am happy to welcome a new teaching experience (and Austrian experience!) to my repertoire.

NB: The film Some Like it Hot was one of Marilyn Monroe's greatest comedic successes. Interestingly enough, it was written and directed by Billy Wilder, who was Austrian. His other films include many of my favorites: Ninotchka with Greta Garbo, Sunset Boulevard, Sabrina, Ball of Fire with Gary Cooper, The Seven Year Itch (also with Marilyn), and Love in the Afternoon. According to IMDb, Wilder apparently shared an apartment with fellow Austro-Hungarian ex-pat Peter Lorre during his early years in Hollywood.

Regionalmusikschule Amstetten: Schulkonzert

Ballet recitals are a thing of my childhood. I remember being a very poor ballet student, never being coordinated, talented or practiced enough to take much pride in my recitals. This is something I regret now, of course, seeing the amazingness of Natalie Portman in Black Swan, or even some of my students participate in their own recitals here in Amstetten.

I was invited last Friday to see the year-end recital for the Amstetten regional music school by one of my students. It was interesting on several levels:

1. The recital was just about 3 hours and took practically every lesson the school offers into account: a Kindergarten choir, a brass band concert, an abridged ballet (Le Corsaire by Adolphe Adam), and a jazz/tap/modern dance recital.

2. Being able to see other aspects of students outside of school: their talents, their personalities, what they spend a lot of time doing, what they're passionate about. Dancing, playing the saxophone or drums, etc.

3. It's refreshing to know that not all Europeans are super-classy and dignified. The image Americans have in their heads is a bunch of Austrians at the Vienna Philharmonic in tuxes and ball gowns staring through opera glasses at the performers and clapping daintily after each set. This recital, however, saw plenty of families from the Kindergarten group get up and leave as soon as their kids jumped off the stage. Americans, though we can be crass, are not the only crass human beings on the planet.

4. I found one more thing to do in Amstetten!

I was pleasantly surprised at the level of enthusiasm and hard work that went into the recital, and found it very worthwhile to attend. Bravo!

Kochprüfung, or the Perks of Being a Native English Speaker

This past Monday, I was invited to be a guest at one of my student's cooking exams at the HLW.


Short for Höhere Lehranstalt für wirstschafltiche Berufe (Higher School of Commercial Occupations), it used to be known...maybe 10 to 15 years ago...as the girls' school. More pejoratively put, the Knödel Akademie (Dumpling Academy) because the girls learned cooking, cleaning, hotel management, etc. for work in tourism-related jobs. Or how to be a cleaning lady or cook. Or just how to be a good Hausfrau. 


The boys, of course, went to the Gymnasium or the HAK - Handlesakademie (business academy), but these days, in our enlightened times, boys and girls are allowed to choose wherever they want to go to school. The Gymnasium is from ages 10-19, and is more or less an academic track that would include American middle school and high school, but is more rigorous: think AP (Advanced Placement) or IB (International Baccalaureate) classes, but without the "regular" option. The HLW has academic classes - but not as rigorous - and the students learn cooking (no more cleaning, thank God) and have either a foreign language concentration, a nutrition concentration, or a business management concentration. The HAK also has academic classes, but students also learn accounting, business management, leadership skills, and so forth. The HLW and HAK are meant to get students ready for a) a job right after graduation in their chosen field or b) university studies. So, these schools are more like high school + associates degree. This actually makes it easier for graduates of these schools to find a job abroad, especially the USA, considering they are basically a year ahead of anyone their age graduating from an American high school...something I should never have mentioned in class, because now they all want me to get them "in" to the USA - or at least they ask me endless questions about America.


On to the cooking exam! Each of the 4th year students at the HLW is supposed to do a cooking exam, a serving exam and an accounting exam as part of their diploma/graduation. In the fifth year, they then do language exams: German, French and English, with which they have the option of an oral or written exam. It's a great idea to split the exams between the two years, I think, because then the students aren't so stressed out they can't perform well. With the serving exam as well, they get the chance to do their exams in a foreign language, or just in German. 


That's where I come in - one of the girls in the 4A wanted to do her exam in English, so she invited me.


The table settings were chosen by each of the five girls doing their serving exams, and the food was prepared by each of their partners in the kitchen. We had a lovely aperitif (pear bellinis) and an appetizer, tomato bruchetta on olive ciabatta, before the servers came to introduce themselves. At the end of the meal, the cooks also introduced themselves. 


Being invited to the cooking exam is quite an honor in Amstetten. The mayor was at this one, as well as certain other dignitaries, local business people, and the former superintendent of schools for Lower Austria. Also, teachers and other community members are allowed to participate.


The menu: 

Schmankerteller aus der Region

(assorted regional specialties)

Karfiolcremesuppe mit Flambiertem Karottenconfit

(cream of cauliflower soup with flambéed carrot compote)

Pikant gefüllte Roulade von der Maishendlbrust

(spicy roast chicken breast)

Bärlauch-Eräpfeltaler

(fried potatoes with wild garlic)

Mostbirnpilzgröstl

(pear-mushroom ragout)

Dukatenbuchteln auf Vanillespiegel

 (yeast dumplings with vanilla custard)

Kaffeespezialitäten - Pharisäer

(coffee specialties - Irish coffee with rum and whipped cream)

A 2010 Riesling from the Weingut Stadt Krems was served with the meal. Everything was delicious and our server tried very hard to do everything bilingual. She got nervous and made a few mistakes, but I would give her and A for effort - knowing that she did something outside of her comfort zone, and put extra effort into her exam. Extra effort should always be rewarded.

One addenda: I felt very awkward at the meal because, although I made it very clear that I'm a vegetarian, I was still served chicken. Each of the five students cook and prepare the same menu (to keep it fair, I guess). And I understood this, and wanted to be nice about it, so I had a bit of the chicken, but pushed the rest around on my plate...which the person sitting next to me noticed. 

Oops. Austria is one of those countries where you are supposed to eat EVERYTHING on your plate, and to leave something behind is rude, and indicates that you don't like the food. Well, I was hoping to go unnoticed, but by that time, I didn't want to embarrass anyone, or become further embarrassed myself...by explaining dietary restrictions that hadn't seemed to bother me until then, right? I just said that I wasn't used to eating so much in one sitting (which I'm not - four courses is a lot) and told the students that it was very delicious. 

Which it was - especially the pear-mushroom ragout. And the wine! 

Memoiren eines mittelmäßigen Schülers

A book loaned to me by one of the teachers at the HAK, Memoiren eines mittelmäßigen Schülers (tr: Memoirs of an Average Student), is a semi-autobiographical and historical journey by German writer Alexander Spoerl.

I enjoyed the book very much. The style is easy to get into. The writing is simple and informative - almost conversational. The story begins as Jakob van Tast waits in the hospital for his son to be born. The time is late 40's or early 50's. Jakob, with nothing else to do, returns to his own childhood within the narrative. This story takes us from a little boy behaving badly to a young man (uninterested, not finding his niche) desiring to be free of school, to a young man working as an apprentice in Berlin, to a young man drafted into Hitler's army. Later, through each of these adventures, and frames of mind, we come to recognize the whole man who has formed from these fragments of persona. At the end, Jakob not only discovers the birth of his daughter (an ironic view of men and their perception of their offspring as an extension of themselves?) but reunites with (i.e. sees) an old teacher of his from the Gymnasium, who has completely forgotten who he is. Only "average" students are rarely remembered by teachers, sorry to say. We remember the excellent ones and the terrible ones - with behavior problems - most of all, especially after 20, 30 or 40 years...

I loved the irony. I loved the honesty. I loved that Spoerl made no bones about Hitler, the Third Reich and all that bullshit in 1950, no less, right after the war! Jakob falls in love with a Jewish girl, has an affair with the wife of an officer while in the army...things that make for a juicy story. And yet, that's not the point. Jakob's growth as a human being is of importance, not the juicy details of plot, but his existential qualities. It reminded me of Camus. Without all of that freaky-weird imagery.

Was für ein Unter – schi – ed

These posts are a bit out of order, but I'll try my best...

In mid-March, the 2nd form of the HAK took a ski trip to Saalbach/Hinterglemm. I accompanied them. It was my first time ever skiing. Of all the people I talked to about going to Austria, each of them said (with little variation), "You must go skiing!" So I did.  

Here you see the big lift up to the ski area -->

<-- And here you see the little town of Hinterglemm. Saalbach is about 3km from Hinterglemm, and if you need such things as medical assistance, you'll have to go to Saalbach. If you want to drink away the pain, you can stay in Hinterglemm. It has plenty of Après-Ski opportunities...

I must admit, the ski week seemed like one of the rare times during my stay in Austria where I could actually speak German, because I was not surrounded by Austrians wanting to improve their English (like at school), but Austrians in their natural *habitat* for not just several hours but days at a time! I think I spoke more German in that week than I have the entire rest of the time I've been here. Perhaps this means I am self-segregating while in Amstetten - and I should be more outgoing, or whatever - but I maintain that the Austrians confident in their English abilities will still try to sneak English into conversations regardless.


The whole school trip experience was really amazing, and more like what I had expected my time here to be like. By that, I mean the speaking German all the time part. As reluctant as I am to admit, I must say that Austrian German (and various dialects) and Standard German are different enough in a spoken context to be confusing to me. The longer I'm here, the better I get at understanding what people are saying.

One fun cultural experience was games. The teachers taught me how to play Lügen, or "lying," which is similar to the card game Cheat (otherwise known as Baloney, or its saltier name, Bullshit) where players try to get rid of all of their cards by placing them in a pile face-down in the middle of the table. The player doing this makes a claim as to what the cards are, i.e. two Jacks, three Queens, etc. The cards are laid in sequential order, 2 through Ace (or Ace through King). If you don't believe the person who put down the cards, you can call "Cheat!" or "Bullshit!" and have the other person turn the cards face-up. If they're wrong, they take the whole pile of cards. If you're wrong, you take the pile!*


Lügen is played with dice rather than cards, and something akin to a Yahtzee cup is used to obscure the number on the dice from the rest of the players. The numbers go from 31 through 65, with doubles (11, 22, 33, 44, 55 and 66) being the next sequence. The trump number is 21 (Mäxchen). Again, order is important. However, only the person next to you can call you out on whether you're lying. for example, if one player rolls  a 4 and a 3 (43) but needs to roll a 65 or higher, they can say whatever they want. If the next person doesn't think they can roll higher, they can call the person out. If they're right, the person who just rolled loses a chip, but if they're wrong, they lose two chips!*

I also watched the teachers play a sort of Bridge that was too complicated for me to actually figure out and play with. First, there were seven of us, and only four at a time can play. Second, although I have subsequently learned the names in German for the cards, I didn't know them at the time. The deck we played with was very ornately decorated with designs that, to me, looked almost like Tarot cards. They were very cool, but confusing.


The names of the face cards and suits in Austrian (A) German and Germany (D) German are:

Jack - Bube (Knave)

Queen - Dame (Lady)

King - König (King)

Ace - Aß (Ace) 
Hearts - Herz (heart)
Diamonds - Schelle (A) or Karo (D) (bell, or square)
Clubs - Eichel (A) or Kreuz (D) (acorn, or cross)
Spades - Blatt (A) or Pik (D) (peak, or leaf)

The Germany German names are derived from the French deck of cards (what we use in the USA). The Tarot card-type cards are the traditional Bavarian cards. Photo below (from Wikipedia):

The top parts of the cards are Bavarian, the bottom parts are French  

Also, of course, on the skiing trip, I went skiing. That was a brand new experience for me, and I really enjoyed it - once I go used to the skis. I didn't make it past the bunny hills all week, but I felt really proud by the end to be able to ski down the hill and directly to the lift (rather than skiing past it and having to climb back up the hill) five times in a row...yes, I know that sounds pathetic. But, please. Give me my joy! I was also surprised to find that Alpine skiing is hardly an aerobic sport, but mostly about muscle control. I don't exactly know what I expected, but I guess I expected more cross-country skiing...for whatever reason. Delusion? By the end of the week, I had a major Muskelkater (Charley horse) but this is all an expected part of the sport. Plus, once I got home I could totally ice it with the vodka I bought in Poland ;) You might ask why this has not been drunk yet? I'm not actually a fan of vodka...

Speaking of vodka, the students (though they were all 16) were not allowed to drink on the trip. Since it was a week intended to promote exercise and physical well-being. Which excludes alcohol. However, this does not mean that no students went drinking. They were given free time to wander about the sprawling metropolis of Hinterglemm, and, according to some very candid students, it was no trouble to grab a few beers away from the watchful eyes of their chaperons...

We stayed at a Jugendheim, sort of like a youth hostel that caters especially to school groups and young people, which was very nice. We received full board - and ate excellently - although because I and the biology teacher, Hermann, are both vegetarian, we got a lot of guff from the owner. He was a character! Quite outgoing, and, once it was revealed that I was American (no riddle there once I open my mouth), he refused to call me by my name, preferring instead the moniker "America."

Other news? Oh! The students did a competition one night, which was HILARIOUS!!!! It was the basic camp-style team stuff, where one team tries to beat the other at refilling glasses with straws, making paper airplanes and doing goofy dances with Coke bottles on their heads (by the way, Coke still actually comes in bottles in Austria! And is made with real sugar, not corn syrup!) and the like. I was incredibly amused. And, the best part, I think, was when the teachers all sang "Once and Austrian Went Yodeling" as a sing-a-long. I hadn't heard that song for ten years! It tickled me that Austrians would know it.

view from inside the lift "box"

*NB: Regional differences apply. I use the rules I am familiar with... :)

Maturaprojekten

A few weeks ago now, the fifth (last) form students at the HAK presented their Matura projects in the mozArt in Amstetten. The place is normally a dinner theater/cabaret set/concert hall which caters to the Amstettner crowd...and various surrounding small towns, of course. 


The projects were actually divided between two nights, and I came on the second night because two of the girls presenting the second night invited me to their presentation (no one invited me the first night). As part of their graduation requirement, the students of the HAK are expected to develop some sort of business model, website, advertising campaign, fundraising campaign etc., etc. for a local company. They begin in the summer of their junior year and submit the projects after the first semester of their final year. They then present the projects during the second semester. A final written report is due at the end of the year (in German and English - I've been helping some of the students rewrite their English portions). 


Failing an attempt to scan the program onto my computer, I will have to list off the projects with a little description:


1. pauwa KG - three girls put together a website for a local carpenter/interior designer
2. Lebenskunst - two students got together with the Lebenshilfe Amstetten (an assisted living care facility for people with developmental disabilities) to teach the residents art. The art was then sold to make money for the Lebenshilfe. 
3. Schulfilm - two girls made a film about the school, for future students to see, but also as a remembrance of their time at the HAK.
4. Businessplan Zeithofer - three girls put together a fundraising effort for this other guy who wants to start a carpentry/interior design business.
5. Carla Amstetten - two girls put together a website for the second-hand store in Amstetten (Carla - stands for Caritas Laden: charity store).
6. Eine neue Orgel für St. Stephan - three girls put together a fundraising effort to buy St. Stephen's church in Amstetten a new organ (incidentally, where I sing in the choir!).
7. K-BoxS - this was probably the funniest/most random: three girls designed a website for a company which designs observational equipment for horse stalls - to make sure the horses are going poo-poo in the right spots... 
8. Time for Books! - To spike interest in reading in younger people (i.e. HAK students), three boys put together a book sale to fundraise money to get a well-known Viennese author (I forgot which one...I'll get back to you on that) to come to the school to do a reading. He writes fantasy books.
9. "Du bist Schön" - two girls put together a website for a local company that produces organic beauty products.
10. Young meets old - three students put together a survey/service activity to get young people (elementary school age) to get in contact with older people (living in the nursing home near Amstetten).
11. Schülerheim -  three students took a survey of students living in the Landschülerheim (for students who go to the Landschule, or outdoor school).
12. Businessplan SportimOrt - three boys developed a business plan for a sports store that comes to you!
13. Multimedia FF Ardagger - three boys put together a multimedia presentation to promote the Ardagger volunteer fire department (Freiwillige Feuerwehr).


All of the students did a great job presenting. I found it pretty amazing that they had such a varied collection of projects. And, it's good to see yet another difference between the American and Austrian school systems. One interesting aspect of the HAK is that they are the only school type to expect a project like these from graduates. Other schools are pushing to do similar things, but as of this year, the HAK is the only one requiring graduation projects. I can't imagine any American public school making students do projects like these - at least not without a big fat fuss from all sides. 




NB: I spoke too soon in this post when I said there was only one theater in Amstetten. Apologies.

Ball Saison

HAK orchestra and papier mache giraffe

Much like the Prom time in the USA - between mid-March and early April where the malls become choked with teenage girls looking for the "perfect" dress, boys look into renting tuxedos, and the likes of Seventeen Magazine produce articles on finding your perfect hairstyle for Prom, which of the 9,000 Claire's accessories is going to go with Katy Perry-inspired sparkles, and a quiz to take to figure out if you're a Promzilla (like Bridezilla. but for 17-year-olds). Here's a hint: if you have to take the quiz...you probably are.

Such things are not restricted to the USA, however. Austria also seems to have a prom-type thing - even a prom-type season! Which is going on right now. Lots of schools are going all out for these "balls." Last weekend, I went to the one at the HAK. The theme was Africa (not New York like the HLW or Hollywood like the Gymnasium) and there were plenty of people to enjoy it.

Here's a list of differences:

1. Alcohol is served in Austria. (How could it not be?)
2. Parents, siblings and other family of the graduates, teachers, alumni and community members are all invited as well as students (or at least they can buy a ticket...)
3. There is an Eintanzen (beginning of the ball - waltz and other old-people stuff for parents).
4. There is a "midnight show" where the students perform some talent show-type thing, or a dance, or a skit for everyone at the ball which they have rehearsed - done at midnight (obviously).
5. Food is also served. Cakes are especially popular (it's Austria, remember?)

An example of Eintanzen

Photos from Gym ball:

 <-- Statue of Liberty in Hollywood? Need you ask this question? Every town in America has a statue of liberty - that is, if you're from Europe.

And, why not?     --->

NB: I was planning on making two posts, but since I took my sweet time about it, and there wasn't really much to photograph or differentiate between the two dances, here you are: kurzfristig geuploadet, as one is known to hear in these parts.

Fashion, fun, starlets and safaris: you can have it all!

Zebra wall art from the HAK

Did these experiences make me nostalgic for my high school days? Not exactly, but I had a pretty good time. Did they make me think, "God, I'm old!"? Well, in a way. Did I become enlightened as to the vast cultural differences between Austrian and the USA? Actually, I've been to three of these now, and if I didn't get it the first time...shame on me.

TEA Conference...and Digression Into a Rant About Teaching

At the end of January, I went to the Teachers of English in Austria (TEA) conference in Vienna - sorry for the late post! I keep getting the feeling I'm becoming worse and worse at actually updating with salient details from my European exploits!

The conference was good: sort of a rehash of education classes/teacher training lessons I feel like I've had an earful of already - but it's always good to review. The best thing about the conference was being able to reconnect with people I met in Graz (and hadn't seen since) and new people teaching all over Austria. I found talking to all of these people with such varied life and teaching experiences a wonderful thing. I think as I become more comfortable teaching in Amstetten and more aware of my impact on learners, I can implement better strategies, and to be so self-conscious. Self-conscious teachers really are the pits - the ones who try so hard to get students to like them. It's not about that. It's about learning, conveying knowledge from one person to another. If your students happen to like you, well, that's an added bonus.

I'm not saying you should be scary and nasty, just don't expect adoration, because odds are, you're never going to get it. Teaching is not about being a superstar, having a captive audience, building a pension or getting summers off. And, yeah, I'm not a "real" teacher here in Austria, but I've had exposure to the teaching profession pretty much my whole life, and I think, at least in a small way, that counts for something.

I hope this post is somewhat timely as well, for those stuck in that February doldrum somewhere. This time of year can be really tough on students and teachers and sometimes you might go home at the end of the day wanting to pull your hair out or bitch out your students or buy a one-way ticket to Tahiti and forget that this life ever happened. Those are not super options for dealing with stress, unfortunately.

This teacher in Pennsylvania is feeling the effect of job dissatisfaction - in more ways than one. Her blog, where she complained about teaching, administrators and students, was discovered and links posted on Facebook by her students this year (the contents of the blog were written between 2009 and 2010) from where it went viral, to be discovered by parents and administrators. Not the best move on her part, though I can see where she's coming from, being disappointed with students' behavior and performance. There have been days where I've felt really drained and frustrated having to deal with so many different personalities in the classroom and the lack of decorum on the part of (some) students.

But it's not going to help anyone to dwell on the negative. Calling her students "little f&@#s" on the internet - albeit on a semi-ambiguous blog (she included her first name and a photo of herself in her profile) - helps nothing and creates more animosity in the end. The students, parents and administrators become angry and feel betrayed for havign been publicly maligned. Nothing is accomplished except lots of bad karma. Since she may lose her job over this, depending on whether the teachers' union backs her grievance at dismissal/suspension with pay, I hardly see how a little name-calling was worth it, especially considering that anything and everything on the internet can be dug up by someone, and can certainly be found by students who are (let's face it) a million times more computer literate than anyone over 30.

At first, I was a bit concerned about my blog - I write about my students! Sometimes. And I know my students read what I write (because they tell me all the time at Stammtisch - HOLLA Y'ALL!) The main difference, I feel, is that I would never say mean things about my students - at least not intentionally.

With that in mind, teenagers, if I may, sometimes act like assholes because they're trying to find themselves. Who wasn't a little disagreeable at 16? My mother can tell you plenty of stories about me! If you can't deal with human foibles in a productive, understanding manner, stay the hell away from social occupations. Especially teaching, where you have the potential to affect thousands of lives over the span of a career.

Don't Ask Me Nothin' about Nothin' - I Might Just Tell You the Truth

There's something to be said for being able to speak candidly to a bunch of 17-year-olds. It's not necessarily that in the USA people don't take teenagers seriously, or that in Austria they have it so much better, i.e. the freedoms they are allowed make them more well-adjusted as they become adults. The opposite may very well be true, but I haven't seen it yet.

It's really way too much to ask to create an either/or hypothesis when it comes to child development. But, the longer I live in Austria, the more I find myself agreeing that, at 16, people are capable of (some) advanced thought and decision-making skills - rudimentary as they may be. Thus, at 16, you can decide for yourself (legally and in full view of the law) whether you want to smoke, drink, or have sex, or do other equally "adult" things. Well, in that way, school culture is also on the liberal side. No matter how many people tell me Austria is conservative, I don't believe it. Compared to what it's like in America, things couldn't get less restrictive.

For example, the other day in class, we had a discussion about child molesters that began innocently enough with an article from the English book (Fast on Track - for Austrians, by Austrians) on New York city. Now, I must interject that I love New York. I even have the t-shirt to prove it. I think, in fact, I would live there in a heartbeat if I could. But that is a story for another blog post.

In class, we began by discussing the article. The teacher asked whether any of the students would want to live in New York. One girl raised her hand and said that no, she would not like to live there. The crowds and the noise would be too much for her, and she couldn't see herself wanting to raise a family there because cities are not ideal for such things anyway, and New York in particular seems unlikely to have lots of green spaces. 

The teacher agreed, "Yes. If you send your kids out to play, they might get run over by a car."

"Or be abducted by a child molester," I added without thinking. 

It just came out. I couldn't take it back once I'd said it. I surely would have been fired on the spot were I teaching in the USA. However, the teacher found it the perfect opportunity to teach a brand new word! He seemed unfazed - until I asked, "Oh, isn't there a slang term for 'child molester'?" I asked. "While I was studying in Berlin, someone taught me the word _____________. Could I use that?"

The word itself is unpublishable. Excuse me my error. Yes, I could use it. Yes, it is slang. Very, very bad slang inappropriate for the classroom. Even in Austria. The class, however, upon hearing my utterance burst out into giggles (this particular class is 100% girls) and it seems they were unharmed. They probably thought it was hilarious that the American assistant even knew the word - and that she said it in class! LOL! OMG! ROTFL! 

For those of you curious, and with passable German skills, look under "f" in the dictionary. Translate. Or just use your dirty little minds. You'll come up with something to fill the blank eventually.

What's in a name?

Austrians are really into nicknames.

I don't quite get it myself. I was skeptical when students asked me what my nickname was at the beginning of the year, and surprised when they told me everyone - everyone - has a nickname in Austria.

I had to tell them, simply, that I go by Vanessa. Period.

I do not have some odd variant or shortened pseudonym. But, in Austria, this is weird. Why go by your full name, which is confusing and repetitive (since 80% of them share their name with some Catholic saint), when you can go by something much more fun? And personalized?

For example:
Johann/Johannes/Hans = Hansi, Hannes, Hansel, Jo-Jo.
Franz = Franzi, Fritz
Georg = Gegi, Girgl, Jorgi, Schorschi (only in Vienna)


Magdalena = Maggi, Lena, Leni, Maxi
Anna = Anja, Anka, Nanna, Nannerl (for older women)
Elisabeth = Lissi, Lieserl, Sisi, Betti, Elsi

...and so forth.

If there is more than one Johann in class, one is Hansi and the other is Jo-Jo...keeping in mind that the kids stay in the same class from practically the beginning of their school careers, these monikers are something they will have for the rest of their lives, presumably, and, thus, careful thought should be gone into how one would like to be called. The kids' absolute favorite thing is to call each other by their nicknames to confuse me (because I only have a list of their given names). But I can outsmart them yet! Wait until I start using "Schnapsi" and "Kobi" and "Lieserl" and "Topsi" on them...

Nothing freaks out a teenager like a teacher knowing what they're up to...mwahaha!

Salzburg Churches

 More of Salzburg! Particularly its famous churches:

#1 - The Cathedral
#2 - The Franziskaner (Franciscan)  Church
#3 - Nonnburg Abbey church