Mom, Dad and Little Sister are here for two weeks to visit, after which I will be heading home for the summer. It's bittersweet, seeing them and sharing the past two years of my life intimately - going to all of my haunts, having them meet my friends. We're a close-knit family, but not in a creepy way. We all love and respect one another enough not to interfere with each other's lives. I've been living on the other side of the world for two years, for crying out loud! With my parents' blessing. And yet...the minute we get together, it's just like I'm 15 again, Sissy is 11, and this is just another family vacation.
It isn't, though. There's the rub. I have been living here, I've made my life in Vienna, for better or worse, but now - just now that I feel as if everything is under control - I am going to leave to go home. I have been acting as tour guide and translator for the family for four days, and I'm exhausted. I was looking so forward to seeing everyone, and now it's as if all that is negated: like my life is being invaded.
It doesn't seem fair to everyone to say this, but it's how I feel. I know we'll get used to each other in a few days, and things will be fine. I still have to work, and pack. I'm worried about making sure everyone has a good time, about my luggage being overweight when I get to the airport, about finishing the school year on a good note and not sloughing off my duties just because my family's here - the list goes on.
My life here has been independent until now. I haven't had to be part of a family, really, but just look out for myself. The feeling is so freeing and nonrestrictive, it's like being high. It's something I needed - I still need - to be an adult, unburdened and happy about it. I keep thinking, even though Mom and I have been planning their trip for several months, my lifestyle had changed in a snap - overnight - and in two weeks, it will change again in an instant.
I wonder: am I ready to move on - and what have I truly learned from Austria?
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